Life is pretty damn good right now. I'm currently on day 5 of being sick but it's just a cold and not some knocked-on-my-ass-respiratory-horror-story like the other illnesses I've had over the last year. I can handle a cold! I will take it.
Timehop reminded me that Cooper was diagnosed a year ago today. I will never forget going into the appointment with the feeling of "More wasted time! They won't give us any explanation!" and the Developmental Pediatrician casually, matter of factly telling us he was on the autism spectrum.
I wasn't prepared at all for the next few months, but is anyone? I'm glad to say that at a year out I am no longer consumed with fear. I have learned so much about patience. Everything in the special needs system (therapy, school, etc.) takes forever to set up and work with. There is so much red tape that you are blissfully unaware of until you're the one responsible for maneuvering around it. This year really was about learning to be patient.
Cooper is an amazing kid. I know it's cliche, and most parents will say that about their kids. This guy, though? He cracks me up every single day. He is caring. He is passionate about the things that interest him. He is a whirlwind of energy but also hyper focused when he wants to be.
I'm still working with the "accepting one and done" thing. I have faith that I will get there eventually and that faith has reassured me lately that it really will be okay one day. It is just really damn difficult to quiet my ovaries sometimes. It hurts. You never quite know when the gut-punch will hit you but it does.
Until I get to the acceptance part, I will focus on the good things that come with having 1. I will keep planning trips that are doable for this age and count down the days until the kid can tolerate an international flight. I want him to see the world. I want to push him (and us) beyond our comfort zones bit by bit. I want to evolve, grow and continue learning that even when things are really tough, it goes on.
Right now? Things are not so tough. I am immensely grateful for this lull. It always goes on.
