Mama...beast?

I hate the phrase Mama Bear. It makes me a little nauseous. That's the only phrase I can think of that describes how I felt a week ago. There have been plenty of times that I defend my kid, but I have never experienced quite the physical, ingrained reaction like last week. Sweaty palms, increased heart beat, pure fury.

I don't want to go into details because I don't want the details being out there, but my son won't return to the daycare he's been attending since September. When my husband got home and relayed the information to me (I work until 6:30 so he's the daycare picker-upper) I told myself that surely there was a miscommunication? Surely? I obviously needed to call the daycare director because what he thought happened would never happen there. In that moment I knew I wouldn't have the ability to remain calm when I spoke with her so I slept on it and called her the next day.

Her explanation made things worse. It highlighted how incompetent they are in terms of handling a kid on the autism spectrum. Whenever she tried to defend the staff, it just made it worse. By some miracle, I didn't rage-sob while she was on the phone. I made it perfectly clear to her that they are incapable of handling a kid on the autism spectrum. I let her know that how they handled my son was not okay. I let her know that we'd never be back. I hung up the phone and shook.

He is in such a specific niche that I can see this kind of thing happening repeatedly and that scares the shit out of me. He tends to pass as this quirky kid to people we're not around a lot, but the behavioral struggles always emerge. He is the best thing that's ever happened to me but dealing with autistic behavioral challenges (especially meltdowns and defiance) is NOT an easy thing to deal with. Teachers aren't always going to have the patience that a parent has. They have countless other kids to look after, of course they don't have an hour to deal with a meltdown.

So where will he fall? How are we supposed to find a daycare that we can trust after this? Is he regressing? Do we need to amend his IEP and push for more hours? Does he need to go back into ABA therapy? Where is the damn manual for all of this? Hopefully the developmental pediatrician will be able to answer our longgg list of questions in January. Like everything-just as soon as you feel like you're getting the hang of something, life changes it up. Time to keep learning and moving forward.

Business Goals

I'm discovering that running my own business on the side is therapeutic. I don't think it would be if it was my full-time gig (because, pressure) but it's not. My health insurance isn't depending on this. That's what the FT gig is for.

I've only been back a few weeks but I've learned quite a bit about SEO. From the view counts and favorited items, it seems to be working. Etsy will never be a main source of crafting income due to the hugely saturated market. That being said-the ease of use, discounted shipping and wide audience will keep me there for whatever sales do roll in. My main goals this winter are to start preparing for late winter/early spring craft fairs and to create a more cohesive/professional look.

Things to check off this winter:
1. Hire someone to redesign my logo, social media icons, etc. I already narrowed down a particular designer but I'm waiting until after Christmas because of funds. For someone with very limited Photoshop skills I think I did *okay* with my logo. I really don't like my FB or Etsy banners. Branding is so important with craft businesses and it's something that is lacking.  
2. Purchase a sandblaster for glass etching. I love etching glass but the etching cream I use doesn't produce a vivid etch. I've researched sandblaster machines for a year or so and found one I want to go with. The etching difference is amazing.
3.  Purchase a heat press. I was a little weary of purchasing a heat press because I haven't had great luck with heat transfer vinyl. However, after doing a ton of research I learned about sublimation and I am sooo excited to add this to my shop. No more worries about peeling vinyl. My customers can actually put a mug through the dishwasher! I think this is the thing I'm most excited about offering/changing over the upcoming months.
4. Packaging. This kind of goes along with the branding bit in number 1. I have always been a terrible gift-wrapper. My mom is the lady who perfectly folds edges of wrapping paper and puts pretty bows on gifts. I am of the "cover it in wrapping paper and try to press the crumpled edges in so it doesn't poof out too much" variety.  This doesn't work when you're trying to relay a "boutique" kind of atmosphere. YouTube showed me how to tie one of those cross-knot bows so maybe there's been a little improvement already?
5. Slowly start purchasing craft fair necessities (table cloths, tent, tables, etc.)
6. Build stock. That's obvious enough. I don't want to scramble like I did for my first craft fair.

So, those are my winter goals. I am glad to have them to focus on because things have been pretty crummy over here. This is giving me a taste of self-confidence for the first time in a long time. It's time to keep building on that and moving forward.