It felt like I woke up a few months ago and our parenting lives suddenly went from ones of baby-proofing and constantly stopping imminent danger to finally being able to step back a bit. The outlet covers were removed, we bought a couple bookcases (because books actually *mostly* stay put now!), the door knob covers were tossed. One can toss the door knob covers once your kid's life goal no longer involves opening the cleaning closet door and potentially drinking all the chemicals. It is simultaneously a tremendous relief, bittersweet, and inevitable part of parenting. He's growing up!
The thing I've been hoping for-the sense of peace over being "one and done" has finally been realized. I love our family as a 3 person (& a cat) unit. There is an ease about our days now. I no longer feel like I'm depriving Cooper of a sibling. Just because 2+ kids is the norm, does not mean that a family of 3 cannot be a beautiful, complete thing. I no longer feel like I'm getting punched in the stomach when I find out a coworker is pregnant, get asked why I'm not having more kids, or see pictures of siblings having fun.
Instead of obsessing over what could have been, I look around on a Sunday morning. Greg and I sipping on our coffee, Cooper playing, the light filtering in from my favorite living room window, and the cat stepping all over us while getting cat hair in our coffee. I embrace the feeling of contentment. This is our family. While 3 may not be the norm, we are content and I am grateful. The what-if may always linger lightly in the back of my mind, but it no longer has the power to sway me into worry and discontentment. We're moving on. It is a beautiful feeling.
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