This weekend was super busy but wonderful. Great weather, quick visit with friends, Thanksgiving with family, looking through family photos, and helping throw a surprise 80th birthday from my Grandma Lu. It served as a great reminder that these moments-spending time with family/friends, are the ones that matter most.
Now I'm ready to crawl into bed. Kid, cooperate?
Sunday, November 29, 2015
Tuesday, November 24, 2015
What is best?
Cooper started the intake process for ABA therapy today.
I just hope, and hope, and hope that we are doing the right thing. I worry that by putting him in ABA we are essentially forcing him to hide away the parts of his personality that make him Cooper-the things that make him unique and happy. What if they discourage stimming? Yes, he gets glances in public when he is flapping, but that's how he shows he's excited and happy. I don't want someone to take that away from him because it makes him "stand out."
Although I don't want him to have to conform or feel like he has to put on an act, I do acknowledge the fact that he needs to learn how to control certain behaviors so he doesn't struggle (as much) in school. Right now trying to get him to do anything that isn't his idea is a fight. Transitions, even to activities or places he thoroughly enjoys, always result in meltdowns. The bedtime routine is a nightly 2-hour struggle resulting in him not getting enough sleep. None of these things are conducive to him being able to function in a school atmosphere.
Greg and I decided to go ahead and see how this works for Cooper. Once we sit down with the therapist and discuss the plan of action, we will be very open and honest about our fears. Luckily, this will be in-home for the time being. If we see anything we're uncomfortable with, we will discuss and start a new mode of therapy. I think that things will be okay as long as we remain aware and make sure they're not forcing him into being someone he's not.
One of my friends just had a baby. In typical fashion, my ovaries got twitchy and I thought back to when I was pregnant. Remember pre-kids when you think the difficult part will be the diaper changes and the sleepless nights? Man, I was naive.
I just hope, and hope, and hope that we are doing the right thing. I worry that by putting him in ABA we are essentially forcing him to hide away the parts of his personality that make him Cooper-the things that make him unique and happy. What if they discourage stimming? Yes, he gets glances in public when he is flapping, but that's how he shows he's excited and happy. I don't want someone to take that away from him because it makes him "stand out."
Although I don't want him to have to conform or feel like he has to put on an act, I do acknowledge the fact that he needs to learn how to control certain behaviors so he doesn't struggle (as much) in school. Right now trying to get him to do anything that isn't his idea is a fight. Transitions, even to activities or places he thoroughly enjoys, always result in meltdowns. The bedtime routine is a nightly 2-hour struggle resulting in him not getting enough sleep. None of these things are conducive to him being able to function in a school atmosphere.
Greg and I decided to go ahead and see how this works for Cooper. Once we sit down with the therapist and discuss the plan of action, we will be very open and honest about our fears. Luckily, this will be in-home for the time being. If we see anything we're uncomfortable with, we will discuss and start a new mode of therapy. I think that things will be okay as long as we remain aware and make sure they're not forcing him into being someone he's not.
One of my friends just had a baby. In typical fashion, my ovaries got twitchy and I thought back to when I was pregnant. Remember pre-kids when you think the difficult part will be the diaper changes and the sleepless nights? Man, I was naive.
Saturday, November 7, 2015
100
I have a secret to share with you. A secret that isn't really a secret at all. Over the last year I've gained approximately a hundred pounds. I wish I could be one of those people that is surprised. I wish I could be someone who just doesn't know how it happened.
The truth is, I have known since day 1 what I was doing. I know that each pound was brought on by fast food, by binge eating, by moving so little in a day. I felt each pound creep on. I felt the jeans that no longer buttoned, the chairs that once again hurt my legs, the side glances from strangers, the concerned looks from family. I lost the will to fight for myself.
A little over a year ago I was on the polar opposite side of this fight. I lost so much weight in 2014. For the first time in my adult years, I was able to ride roller coasters. I jogged a 5K. One day I looked up and realized that chasing after my kid was no longer difficult. I shopped IN the story at Old Navy. I was no longer buying plus sizes in the biggest size stores carried. The "regular" section in stores wasn't a reality yet but for the first time it was within reach.
Today I find my clothes (obviously several sizes bigger by now) ready to bust at the seams. Simple household chores leave me exhausted and with an aching back. Walking from my car to my desk at work leaves me winded. I rarely socialize because I am so embarrassed by myself. It is fucking ridiculous. I am 30 years old living like an out of shape elderly person.
So, what the hell happened? I don't know what triggered me to backslide. I know what I did to backslide, but I don't know what "snapped" in my brain. I do know I was working on a project last year when I just caved. I was converting old family movies to dvd. I don't know if something happened to me that I am mentally blocking out (I don't think so?) or if the timing was just coincidental. I know I am a food addict. I've known that for years. I just can't seem to shake it permanently.
What is my plan going forward? The plan for now is to completely eliminate fast food from our diet. Walk more. Replace unhealthy work lunches with healthy lunches. 3 things to change. Greg and I are not going to be manic/overzealous about this, but we are trying to slowly change. Something needs to.
The truth is, I have known since day 1 what I was doing. I know that each pound was brought on by fast food, by binge eating, by moving so little in a day. I felt each pound creep on. I felt the jeans that no longer buttoned, the chairs that once again hurt my legs, the side glances from strangers, the concerned looks from family. I lost the will to fight for myself.
A little over a year ago I was on the polar opposite side of this fight. I lost so much weight in 2014. For the first time in my adult years, I was able to ride roller coasters. I jogged a 5K. One day I looked up and realized that chasing after my kid was no longer difficult. I shopped IN the story at Old Navy. I was no longer buying plus sizes in the biggest size stores carried. The "regular" section in stores wasn't a reality yet but for the first time it was within reach.
Today I find my clothes (obviously several sizes bigger by now) ready to bust at the seams. Simple household chores leave me exhausted and with an aching back. Walking from my car to my desk at work leaves me winded. I rarely socialize because I am so embarrassed by myself. It is fucking ridiculous. I am 30 years old living like an out of shape elderly person.
So, what the hell happened? I don't know what triggered me to backslide. I know what I did to backslide, but I don't know what "snapped" in my brain. I do know I was working on a project last year when I just caved. I was converting old family movies to dvd. I don't know if something happened to me that I am mentally blocking out (I don't think so?) or if the timing was just coincidental. I know I am a food addict. I've known that for years. I just can't seem to shake it permanently.
What is my plan going forward? The plan for now is to completely eliminate fast food from our diet. Walk more. Replace unhealthy work lunches with healthy lunches. 3 things to change. Greg and I are not going to be manic/overzealous about this, but we are trying to slowly change. Something needs to.
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