Summer

I stepped outside today and felt the warm, almost-summer humidity that is nearly tangible during the summer months in this part of the country. You can almost bottle it up. On one hand I thought, "Is it summer already!?" On the other hand, I thought "It's about damn time."

I am currently in a state of not-drowning and I am relishing every second. There were some intensely stressful work moments last week. We had a monthly meeting with Cooper's teacher last week and found out that there is a huge, scary decision to be made regarding Cooper's schooling next year. Greg and I also had to decide on our summer approach for his therapy since he does not qualify for ESY services. These are doable things. We can do this. After the last year? This stuff is small potatoes.

Several months passed since I stopped my anti-depressant that I was on for 3 years. It took a bit to remember how to deal with BIG feelings. I am a feeler. I get hurt easily. This is the first year that I recognize that it isn't necessarily a bad thing. It is just that, a thing. It is part of who I am. The medication I was on did not erase my panic, anxiety, and feelings. It did, however, take the edge off of them. It made it a little easier to breathe. That being said, I am doing pretty well without it! It is overwhelming to feel my anxiety in full force, but it is great to feel the good feelings in full force. I think I was on the medication so long that I didn't realize it was also dulling the good things too.

Thanks to a new summer flex opportunity, my work schedule is temporarily changing as of Tuesday and I couldn't be happier. I am switching to 4, 10-hour days with a 3 day weekend every week until Labor Day. I hope that this will help build up PTO, go on a few long-weekend camping trips and attend Cooper's appointments without having to stay late at work to make up the time. I am so thrilled for the change!

Cooper has grown and changed so incredibly much over the last 6 months. I look at him sometimes and it just hits me. He is his own person. He has limbs that get a little stronger with each month, and one hell of a personality. He gets pissed when the weather changes and he can no longer wear his jacket every day. Rain makes him sleepy. To him, water is still the best. thing. ever. He loves to pick up any phone or camera he can find and open up the camera to view his world through a camera lens. He loves to see people laugh. He is more attached to his favorite blanket than Linus was. The fact that he turns 4 in less than a month completely boggles my mind and makes me ovaries hurt.

So, summer. Hello there. I hope I can continue on this path of not-drowning. I hope the run of not being sick continues. Cookouts and seeing friends would be grand. Maybe a camping trip or 3? Beers and bonfires. Borrowed pool time and a million freckles. All the good things. Let's make it happen.