I hate the phrase Mama Bear. It makes me a little nauseous. That's the only phrase I can think of that describes how I felt a week ago. There have been plenty of times that I defend my kid, but I have never experienced quite the physical, ingrained reaction like last week. Sweaty palms, increased heart beat, pure fury.
I don't want to go into details because I don't want the details being out there, but my son won't return to the daycare he's been attending since September. When my husband got home and relayed the information to me (I work until 6:30 so he's the daycare picker-upper) I told myself that surely there was a miscommunication? Surely? I obviously needed to call the daycare director because what he thought happened would never happen there. In that moment I knew I wouldn't have the ability to remain calm when I spoke with her so I slept on it and called her the next day.
Her explanation made things worse. It highlighted how incompetent they are in terms of handling a kid on the autism spectrum. Whenever she tried to defend the staff, it just made it worse. By some miracle, I didn't rage-sob while she was on the phone. I made it perfectly clear to her that they are incapable of handling a kid on the autism spectrum. I let her know that how they handled my son was not okay. I let her know that we'd never be back. I hung up the phone and shook.
He is in such a specific niche that I can see this kind of thing happening repeatedly and that scares the shit out of me. He tends to pass as this quirky kid to people we're not around a lot, but the behavioral struggles always emerge. He is the best thing that's ever happened to me but dealing with autistic behavioral challenges (especially meltdowns and defiance) is NOT an easy thing to deal with. Teachers aren't always going to have the patience that a parent has. They have countless other kids to look after, of course they don't have an hour to deal with a meltdown.
So where will he fall? How are we supposed to find a daycare that we can trust after this? Is he regressing? Do we need to amend his IEP and push for more hours? Does he need to go back into ABA therapy? Where is the damn manual for all of this? Hopefully the developmental pediatrician will be able to answer our longgg list of questions in January. Like everything-just as soon as you feel like you're getting the hang of something, life changes it up. Time to keep learning and moving forward.
Thursday, December 15, 2016
Saturday, December 3, 2016
Business Goals
I'm discovering that running my own business on the side is therapeutic. I don't think it would be if it was my full-time gig (because, pressure) but it's not. My health insurance isn't depending on this. That's what the FT gig is for.
I've only been back a few weeks but I've learned quite a bit about SEO. From the view counts and favorited items, it seems to be working. Etsy will never be a main source of crafting income due to the hugely saturated market. That being said-the ease of use, discounted shipping and wide audience will keep me there for whatever sales do roll in. My main goals this winter are to start preparing for late winter/early spring craft fairs and to create a more cohesive/professional look.
Things to check off this winter:
1. Hire someone to redesign my logo, social media icons, etc. I already narrowed down a particular designer but I'm waiting until after Christmas because of funds. For someone with very limited Photoshop skills I think I did *okay* with my logo. I really don't like my FB or Etsy banners. Branding is so important with craft businesses and it's something that is lacking.
2. Purchase a sandblaster for glass etching. I love etching glass but the etching cream I use doesn't produce a vivid etch. I've researched sandblaster machines for a year or so and found one I want to go with. The etching difference is amazing.
3. Purchase a heat press. I was a little weary of purchasing a heat press because I haven't had great luck with heat transfer vinyl. However, after doing a ton of research I learned about sublimation and I am sooo excited to add this to my shop. No more worries about peeling vinyl. My customers can actually put a mug through the dishwasher! I think this is the thing I'm most excited about offering/changing over the upcoming months.
4. Packaging. This kind of goes along with the branding bit in number 1. I have always been a terrible gift-wrapper. My mom is the lady who perfectly folds edges of wrapping paper and puts pretty bows on gifts. I am of the "cover it in wrapping paper and try to press the crumpled edges in so it doesn't poof out too much" variety. This doesn't work when you're trying to relay a "boutique" kind of atmosphere. YouTube showed me how to tie one of those cross-knot bows so maybe there's been a little improvement already?
5. Slowly start purchasing craft fair necessities (table cloths, tent, tables, etc.)
6. Build stock. That's obvious enough. I don't want to scramble like I did for my first craft fair.
So, those are my winter goals. I am glad to have them to focus on because things have been pretty crummy over here. This is giving me a taste of self-confidence for the first time in a long time. It's time to keep building on that and moving forward.
I've only been back a few weeks but I've learned quite a bit about SEO. From the view counts and favorited items, it seems to be working. Etsy will never be a main source of crafting income due to the hugely saturated market. That being said-the ease of use, discounted shipping and wide audience will keep me there for whatever sales do roll in. My main goals this winter are to start preparing for late winter/early spring craft fairs and to create a more cohesive/professional look.
Things to check off this winter:
1. Hire someone to redesign my logo, social media icons, etc. I already narrowed down a particular designer but I'm waiting until after Christmas because of funds. For someone with very limited Photoshop skills I think I did *okay* with my logo. I really don't like my FB or Etsy banners. Branding is so important with craft businesses and it's something that is lacking.
2. Purchase a sandblaster for glass etching. I love etching glass but the etching cream I use doesn't produce a vivid etch. I've researched sandblaster machines for a year or so and found one I want to go with. The etching difference is amazing.
3. Purchase a heat press. I was a little weary of purchasing a heat press because I haven't had great luck with heat transfer vinyl. However, after doing a ton of research I learned about sublimation and I am sooo excited to add this to my shop. No more worries about peeling vinyl. My customers can actually put a mug through the dishwasher! I think this is the thing I'm most excited about offering/changing over the upcoming months.
4. Packaging. This kind of goes along with the branding bit in number 1. I have always been a terrible gift-wrapper. My mom is the lady who perfectly folds edges of wrapping paper and puts pretty bows on gifts. I am of the "cover it in wrapping paper and try to press the crumpled edges in so it doesn't poof out too much" variety. This doesn't work when you're trying to relay a "boutique" kind of atmosphere. YouTube showed me how to tie one of those cross-knot bows so maybe there's been a little improvement already?
5. Slowly start purchasing craft fair necessities (table cloths, tent, tables, etc.)
6. Build stock. That's obvious enough. I don't want to scramble like I did for my first craft fair.
So, those are my winter goals. I am glad to have them to focus on because things have been pretty crummy over here. This is giving me a taste of self-confidence for the first time in a long time. It's time to keep building on that and moving forward.
Saturday, November 12, 2016
Flips, flops and flip flops.
A week ago we returned from the worst vacation in the history of our family vacations. It was full of vomit, ants, broken toilets and meltdowns. It was 9 days of "this can't actually be happening, right?" It was one of those weeks where so much went wrong that it started to be hilarious. Hilarious as in "I know this is fucking awful now, but this will make a good story."
17 hours of driving later and we were home. Yes, we were covered in ant corpses, Cooper's pants were falling off of him because he more or less refused to eat for 9 days, I couldn't open most of my right eye because it was infected, and I had to erase thoughts of how many ants I drank in my coffee once the sun went down, but we were home. We survived. I still cannot wrap my mind around how wrong that trip went but the ship didn't sink and the car didn't crash, so it could be worse.
I am nearly positive that my job isn't going to last more than 2 months or so. Considering that I was told when I started 6.5 years ago that it would last (max) 2 years, I think it was a good run. I will eventually walk away with some supervisory skills (even though I never had the title), much wider knowledge of Excel, and 6.5 more years of full time work experience than I walked in there with. A change is much overdue but I am also sad to wave goodbye to an incredible amount of PTO and an awesome schedule.
My Etsy shop reopened yesterday! I am so excited to delve back into the creative side of things and create some new products. I forgot how easy it is to go, "okay I need to edit this image" and look up to see that 2 hours passed. It's weird and a little nerve-wracking to jump back in but I am excited to be back.
17 hours of driving later and we were home. Yes, we were covered in ant corpses, Cooper's pants were falling off of him because he more or less refused to eat for 9 days, I couldn't open most of my right eye because it was infected, and I had to erase thoughts of how many ants I drank in my coffee once the sun went down, but we were home. We survived. I still cannot wrap my mind around how wrong that trip went but the ship didn't sink and the car didn't crash, so it could be worse.
I am nearly positive that my job isn't going to last more than 2 months or so. Considering that I was told when I started 6.5 years ago that it would last (max) 2 years, I think it was a good run. I will eventually walk away with some supervisory skills (even though I never had the title), much wider knowledge of Excel, and 6.5 more years of full time work experience than I walked in there with. A change is much overdue but I am also sad to wave goodbye to an incredible amount of PTO and an awesome schedule.
My Etsy shop reopened yesterday! I am so excited to delve back into the creative side of things and create some new products. I forgot how easy it is to go, "okay I need to edit this image" and look up to see that 2 hours passed. It's weird and a little nerve-wracking to jump back in but I am excited to be back.
Friday, September 23, 2016
Life
Life is pretty damn good right now. I'm currently on day 5 of being sick but it's just a cold and not some knocked-on-my-ass-respiratory-horror-story like the other illnesses I've had over the last year. I can handle a cold! I will take it.
Timehop reminded me that Cooper was diagnosed a year ago today. I will never forget going into the appointment with the feeling of "More wasted time! They won't give us any explanation!" and the Developmental Pediatrician casually, matter of factly telling us he was on the autism spectrum.
I wasn't prepared at all for the next few months, but is anyone? I'm glad to say that at a year out I am no longer consumed with fear. I have learned so much about patience. Everything in the special needs system (therapy, school, etc.) takes forever to set up and work with. There is so much red tape that you are blissfully unaware of until you're the one responsible for maneuvering around it. This year really was about learning to be patient.
Cooper is an amazing kid. I know it's cliche, and most parents will say that about their kids. This guy, though? He cracks me up every single day. He is caring. He is passionate about the things that interest him. He is a whirlwind of energy but also hyper focused when he wants to be.
I'm still working with the "accepting one and done" thing. I have faith that I will get there eventually and that faith has reassured me lately that it really will be okay one day. It is just really damn difficult to quiet my ovaries sometimes. It hurts. You never quite know when the gut-punch will hit you but it does.
Until I get to the acceptance part, I will focus on the good things that come with having 1. I will keep planning trips that are doable for this age and count down the days until the kid can tolerate an international flight. I want him to see the world. I want to push him (and us) beyond our comfort zones bit by bit. I want to evolve, grow and continue learning that even when things are really tough, it goes on.
Right now? Things are not so tough. I am immensely grateful for this lull. It always goes on.
Timehop reminded me that Cooper was diagnosed a year ago today. I will never forget going into the appointment with the feeling of "More wasted time! They won't give us any explanation!" and the Developmental Pediatrician casually, matter of factly telling us he was on the autism spectrum.
I wasn't prepared at all for the next few months, but is anyone? I'm glad to say that at a year out I am no longer consumed with fear. I have learned so much about patience. Everything in the special needs system (therapy, school, etc.) takes forever to set up and work with. There is so much red tape that you are blissfully unaware of until you're the one responsible for maneuvering around it. This year really was about learning to be patient.
Cooper is an amazing kid. I know it's cliche, and most parents will say that about their kids. This guy, though? He cracks me up every single day. He is caring. He is passionate about the things that interest him. He is a whirlwind of energy but also hyper focused when he wants to be.
I'm still working with the "accepting one and done" thing. I have faith that I will get there eventually and that faith has reassured me lately that it really will be okay one day. It is just really damn difficult to quiet my ovaries sometimes. It hurts. You never quite know when the gut-punch will hit you but it does.
Until I get to the acceptance part, I will focus on the good things that come with having 1. I will keep planning trips that are doable for this age and count down the days until the kid can tolerate an international flight. I want him to see the world. I want to push him (and us) beyond our comfort zones bit by bit. I want to evolve, grow and continue learning that even when things are really tough, it goes on.
Right now? Things are not so tough. I am immensely grateful for this lull. It always goes on.
Sunday, July 17, 2016
Plans
I can't wait to feel better! I feel like my body has just kind of molded into the couch. There are kleenex boxes everywhere, half-full cups of tea, my hair stands up on it's own (who needs product!?) and my TV binge watching options have become so desperate that I found myself watching Keeping up With the Kardashians earlier.
I know this will pass and I can't wait to feel normal again. I am planning to join the Y once this illness passes to start trying and cut down on anxiety (and lose weight). I am also going to call a therapist tomorrow and set up an appointment!
Between constantly being ill, dealing with a lot of behavioral issues and school stressors related to autism, coping with the reality that we're not going to have another kid, and walking through everything else we walked through over the last year I think a therapist is much overdue. My mom kind of indirectly told me I seemed really depressed last week and it hit me that yes, I am.
That's okay. I will get through it, but maybe I need help with it this time. As I've mentioned before this is the first year that I really recognize that I have big feelings and am not always great when it comes to coping with them. I think it's time to have someone help me build tools to sort through everything. I can't wait to see what this will lead to. I am so ready for a change.
I know this will pass and I can't wait to feel normal again. I am planning to join the Y once this illness passes to start trying and cut down on anxiety (and lose weight). I am also going to call a therapist tomorrow and set up an appointment!
Between constantly being ill, dealing with a lot of behavioral issues and school stressors related to autism, coping with the reality that we're not going to have another kid, and walking through everything else we walked through over the last year I think a therapist is much overdue. My mom kind of indirectly told me I seemed really depressed last week and it hit me that yes, I am.
That's okay. I will get through it, but maybe I need help with it this time. As I've mentioned before this is the first year that I really recognize that I have big feelings and am not always great when it comes to coping with them. I think it's time to have someone help me build tools to sort through everything. I can't wait to see what this will lead to. I am so ready for a change.
Thursday, July 14, 2016
ftftugiuhilu
Within the last 5 hours:
-My doctor drew my blood to test for autoimmune diseases because I am sick (again).
-We found out that Cooper was not accepted into the (Neurotypical) Preschool program we applied for through the school district. I'm not allowed to disclose why but it had nothing to do with autism.
-We got an email from his special ed preschool teacher basically giving us a heads up that she is going to suggest an IEP revision meeting in August and wants to reduce his hours from 4 days/week to 2 days/week. She wants him to go to community preschool the other 3 days.
I feel like he is already slipping through the cracks. He isn't "autistic enough" to warrant the care I feel he needs. Yet, he is not "neurotypical enough" to send him to a NT preschool program without immense worries.
It drives me insane when he verbally stims for hours on end. I am his mom and love him more than anything and it still makes me feel like my ears are bleeding from verbal stims. How is a preschool teacher who is busy watching several other kids going to handle that? His aggression (primarily biting and hitting) ramped up over the last couple months. So many of the challenging ASD behaviors in terms of rigidity, schedules, meltdowns, ramped up recently. How do I know a teacher won't just label him as a bad kid when it's something he can't control?
I am grateful that he made so much progress last year. It just makes me wonder if he is actually getting the services he needs, or if he's already being short changed before Kindergarten even starts.
-My doctor drew my blood to test for autoimmune diseases because I am sick (again).
-We found out that Cooper was not accepted into the (Neurotypical) Preschool program we applied for through the school district. I'm not allowed to disclose why but it had nothing to do with autism.
-We got an email from his special ed preschool teacher basically giving us a heads up that she is going to suggest an IEP revision meeting in August and wants to reduce his hours from 4 days/week to 2 days/week. She wants him to go to community preschool the other 3 days.
I feel like he is already slipping through the cracks. He isn't "autistic enough" to warrant the care I feel he needs. Yet, he is not "neurotypical enough" to send him to a NT preschool program without immense worries.
It drives me insane when he verbally stims for hours on end. I am his mom and love him more than anything and it still makes me feel like my ears are bleeding from verbal stims. How is a preschool teacher who is busy watching several other kids going to handle that? His aggression (primarily biting and hitting) ramped up over the last couple months. So many of the challenging ASD behaviors in terms of rigidity, schedules, meltdowns, ramped up recently. How do I know a teacher won't just label him as a bad kid when it's something he can't control?
I am grateful that he made so much progress last year. It just makes me wonder if he is actually getting the services he needs, or if he's already being short changed before Kindergarten even starts.
Saturday, July 2, 2016
Summer '16 Bucket List
It is officially summer. It's hot, humid as hell, buggy summer. It also means nights stretching out as long as the summer sun, swimming whenever the opportunity arises, ice cream trucks, and almost nightly playground visits for Cooper.
I really want to do all the [fun] things this summer. The 3 day weekend thing drives my wanderlust heart insane (due to lack of funds, wandering far is out of the question this summer). That doesn't mean there isn't plenty to do around here! Lists help reign in my easily distracted thoughts. Without further ado, here is my list:
1. Take a 1-nighter road trip without planning a single thing. No destination in mind, nothing fancy, just a good old fashioned road trip.
2. Try a new exercise. There are so many things I haven't tried. Yoga? Never tried it. Kickboxing? Nope. Spinning? Nope. Maybe I'll find something I love? Maybe?
3. Try new recipes. I have been *slightly* better in terms of trying new recipes lately, but adding this to the list can't hurt.
4. Visit 3 VA state parks. So much to see, and nearly free!
5. Play tourist in Richmond. Do you know how much things I HAVEN'T seen in Richmond? I've never been to the Poe Museum, VMFA, the VA Holocaust Museum, etc. I will not be riding any segways, but there is a solid day of Richmond-exploring I am 19 years past due on.
6. Firepit nights. Our patio was sadly neglected last year. We just never went out there. I spent hours today trying to clear weeds, spruce it up, and get rid of random things we threw back there. The yard is one of the best parts of our house and I really want to start appreciating it more.
7. Send snail-mail. I never do this anymore and getting mail is always nice! I am overdue to send a care package, a letter, a thank you card, something fun via the mail system.
8. Get a manicure. Maybe you're rolling your eyes at this one, but it's been years since I had one. It felt so fancy to walk around for a week with nice nails.
9. Sew! I bought my machine, accessories, wound a bobbin...now I need to gather the courage to actually use the machine.
10. Visit new restaurants. On the rare occasion we get an opportunity to go to a sit-down restaurant, we get in such a rut and go with the usual spots. There are plenty of places to try around here, so we need to venture out more.
So, there it is. A list that doesn't leave me filled with dread. A light, somewhat frivolous kind of thing. Just how summer should be.
I really want to do all the [fun] things this summer. The 3 day weekend thing drives my wanderlust heart insane (due to lack of funds, wandering far is out of the question this summer). That doesn't mean there isn't plenty to do around here! Lists help reign in my easily distracted thoughts. Without further ado, here is my list:
1. Take a 1-nighter road trip without planning a single thing. No destination in mind, nothing fancy, just a good old fashioned road trip.
2. Try a new exercise. There are so many things I haven't tried. Yoga? Never tried it. Kickboxing? Nope. Spinning? Nope. Maybe I'll find something I love? Maybe?
3. Try new recipes. I have been *slightly* better in terms of trying new recipes lately, but adding this to the list can't hurt.
4. Visit 3 VA state parks. So much to see, and nearly free!
5. Play tourist in Richmond. Do you know how much things I HAVEN'T seen in Richmond? I've never been to the Poe Museum, VMFA, the VA Holocaust Museum, etc. I will not be riding any segways, but there is a solid day of Richmond-exploring I am 19 years past due on.
6. Firepit nights. Our patio was sadly neglected last year. We just never went out there. I spent hours today trying to clear weeds, spruce it up, and get rid of random things we threw back there. The yard is one of the best parts of our house and I really want to start appreciating it more.
7. Send snail-mail. I never do this anymore and getting mail is always nice! I am overdue to send a care package, a letter, a thank you card, something fun via the mail system.
8. Get a manicure. Maybe you're rolling your eyes at this one, but it's been years since I had one. It felt so fancy to walk around for a week with nice nails.
9. Sew! I bought my machine, accessories, wound a bobbin...now I need to gather the courage to actually use the machine.
10. Visit new restaurants. On the rare occasion we get an opportunity to go to a sit-down restaurant, we get in such a rut and go with the usual spots. There are plenty of places to try around here, so we need to venture out more.
So, there it is. A list that doesn't leave me filled with dread. A light, somewhat frivolous kind of thing. Just how summer should be.
Sunday, May 29, 2016
Summer
I stepped outside today and felt the warm, almost-summer humidity that is nearly tangible during the summer months in this part of the country. You can almost bottle it up. On one hand I thought, "Is it summer already!?" On the other hand, I thought "It's about damn time."
I am currently in a state of not-drowning and I am relishing every second. There were some intensely stressful work moments last week. We had a monthly meeting with Cooper's teacher last week and found out that there is a huge, scary decision to be made regarding Cooper's schooling next year. Greg and I also had to decide on our summer approach for his therapy since he does not qualify for ESY services. These are doable things. We can do this. After the last year? This stuff is small potatoes.
Several months passed since I stopped my anti-depressant that I was on for 3 years. It took a bit to remember how to deal with BIG feelings. I am a feeler. I get hurt easily. This is the first year that I recognize that it isn't necessarily a bad thing. It is just that, a thing. It is part of who I am. The medication I was on did not erase my panic, anxiety, and feelings. It did, however, take the edge off of them. It made it a little easier to breathe. That being said, I am doing pretty well without it! It is overwhelming to feel my anxiety in full force, but it is great to feel the good feelings in full force. I think I was on the medication so long that I didn't realize it was also dulling the good things too.
Thanks to a new summer flex opportunity, my work schedule is temporarily changing as of Tuesday and I couldn't be happier. I am switching to 4, 10-hour days with a 3 day weekend every week until Labor Day. I hope that this will help build up PTO, go on a few long-weekend camping trips and attend Cooper's appointments without having to stay late at work to make up the time. I am so thrilled for the change!
Cooper has grown and changed so incredibly much over the last 6 months. I look at him sometimes and it just hits me. He is his own person. He has limbs that get a little stronger with each month, and one hell of a personality. He gets pissed when the weather changes and he can no longer wear his jacket every day. Rain makes him sleepy. To him, water is still the best. thing. ever. He loves to pick up any phone or camera he can find and open up the camera to view his world through a camera lens. He loves to see people laugh. He is more attached to his favorite blanket than Linus was. The fact that he turns 4 in less than a month completely boggles my mind and makes me ovaries hurt.
So, summer. Hello there. I hope I can continue on this path of not-drowning. I hope the run of not being sick continues. Cookouts and seeing friends would be grand. Maybe a camping trip or 3? Beers and bonfires. Borrowed pool time and a million freckles. All the good things. Let's make it happen.
I am currently in a state of not-drowning and I am relishing every second. There were some intensely stressful work moments last week. We had a monthly meeting with Cooper's teacher last week and found out that there is a huge, scary decision to be made regarding Cooper's schooling next year. Greg and I also had to decide on our summer approach for his therapy since he does not qualify for ESY services. These are doable things. We can do this. After the last year? This stuff is small potatoes.
Several months passed since I stopped my anti-depressant that I was on for 3 years. It took a bit to remember how to deal with BIG feelings. I am a feeler. I get hurt easily. This is the first year that I recognize that it isn't necessarily a bad thing. It is just that, a thing. It is part of who I am. The medication I was on did not erase my panic, anxiety, and feelings. It did, however, take the edge off of them. It made it a little easier to breathe. That being said, I am doing pretty well without it! It is overwhelming to feel my anxiety in full force, but it is great to feel the good feelings in full force. I think I was on the medication so long that I didn't realize it was also dulling the good things too.
Thanks to a new summer flex opportunity, my work schedule is temporarily changing as of Tuesday and I couldn't be happier. I am switching to 4, 10-hour days with a 3 day weekend every week until Labor Day. I hope that this will help build up PTO, go on a few long-weekend camping trips and attend Cooper's appointments without having to stay late at work to make up the time. I am so thrilled for the change!
Cooper has grown and changed so incredibly much over the last 6 months. I look at him sometimes and it just hits me. He is his own person. He has limbs that get a little stronger with each month, and one hell of a personality. He gets pissed when the weather changes and he can no longer wear his jacket every day. Rain makes him sleepy. To him, water is still the best. thing. ever. He loves to pick up any phone or camera he can find and open up the camera to view his world through a camera lens. He loves to see people laugh. He is more attached to his favorite blanket than Linus was. The fact that he turns 4 in less than a month completely boggles my mind and makes me ovaries hurt.
So, summer. Hello there. I hope I can continue on this path of not-drowning. I hope the run of not being sick continues. Cookouts and seeing friends would be grand. Maybe a camping trip or 3? Beers and bonfires. Borrowed pool time and a million freckles. All the good things. Let's make it happen.
Sunday, May 15, 2016
Back to reality: meal edition
The end of April and early-mid May were pretty chaotic. There was a quick trip to NY for my grandpa's funeral service at the end of April. A week after returning from NY I was back on the road but this time headed to FL. Both of those trips were stressful in their own ways, but there were good memories involved too.
Now it's back to reality until I manage to convince my husband to venture somewhere else. The laundry situation is slowly catching up but the meal situation is back to it's lazy person state of "Pizza? Okay. Cookout? Okay." Starting today, I'm making an effort to change that. Summer is around the corner and with that, fresher produce. Salad actually starts to sound appetizing when the temperature heats up. Now that Greg doesn't work until 10PM we also have the opportunity for grilling.
Here are a few new things I plan to try out this week:
Chopped salad with spiced chickpeas
She had me at "chickpeas" and "feta." I'm planning to make this for work lunches.
Lemon ricotta parmesan pasta with chicken and spinach
2 types of cheese and pasta, but clearly the chicken and spinach make it healthy?
Grilled balsamic steak with tomatoes and arugula
Any night that Greg grills is a good night. That + the fact that this is a Skinnytaste recipe pretty much guarantees a recipe win.
We're also cooking up some go-to meals. BLTs on sourdough, salsa chicken tacos, tangy lentil salad. It's so easy to get into a recipe/cooking rut. Hopefully these will spice things up a bit and I can get into the habit of actively trying new (healthyish) recipes each week. As always, that pun was intended.
Now it's back to reality until I manage to convince my husband to venture somewhere else. The laundry situation is slowly catching up but the meal situation is back to it's lazy person state of "Pizza? Okay. Cookout? Okay." Starting today, I'm making an effort to change that. Summer is around the corner and with that, fresher produce. Salad actually starts to sound appetizing when the temperature heats up. Now that Greg doesn't work until 10PM we also have the opportunity for grilling.
Here are a few new things I plan to try out this week:
Chopped salad with spiced chickpeas
She had me at "chickpeas" and "feta." I'm planning to make this for work lunches.
Lemon ricotta parmesan pasta with chicken and spinach
2 types of cheese and pasta, but clearly the chicken and spinach make it healthy?
Grilled balsamic steak with tomatoes and arugula
Any night that Greg grills is a good night. That + the fact that this is a Skinnytaste recipe pretty much guarantees a recipe win.
We're also cooking up some go-to meals. BLTs on sourdough, salsa chicken tacos, tangy lentil salad. It's so easy to get into a recipe/cooking rut. Hopefully these will spice things up a bit and I can get into the habit of actively trying new (healthyish) recipes each week. As always, that pun was intended.
Saturday, April 2, 2016
Aimless
Everything feels kind of aimless lately. I don't know where I fit in anymore. Every time I try to describe something it's like the words don't come out right and I can't ever seem to get my point across correctly. This blog is probably a great showcase of that struggle.
I feel like I'm sitting here, unable to articulate my feelings correctly, isolated yet busy (seriously, who wants to be around me when I am down? I get it), and life keeps throwing things my way. It's like the majority of 30 has been spent getting knocked down by something unexpected, flailing around under the current for awhile, and catching my breath long enough for the next thing to strike.
I have spent so much of this year being ill. I have been sick with this current illness for 3 weeks. 3 fucking weeks of being sick. It's not like I'm being irresponsible and avoiding the doctor-I've gone every time I've been sick this year. Last time I even had them draw my blood because should I be getting sick every month? No. I think so much of why I feel like I can't catch a break is because SO much of my energy has been zapped with these long-lasting, mystery illnesses.
If I could just have a month or 2 of not getting sick, of not feeling like I'm some second rate employee because hey I have another 2 week long illness and need to call out for a day or 2, of not having a loved one die, of not having some major financial blow, maybe I could catch my breath. I just want to feel like I'm sailing again, not drowning.
I feel like I'm sitting here, unable to articulate my feelings correctly, isolated yet busy (seriously, who wants to be around me when I am down? I get it), and life keeps throwing things my way. It's like the majority of 30 has been spent getting knocked down by something unexpected, flailing around under the current for awhile, and catching my breath long enough for the next thing to strike.
I have spent so much of this year being ill. I have been sick with this current illness for 3 weeks. 3 fucking weeks of being sick. It's not like I'm being irresponsible and avoiding the doctor-I've gone every time I've been sick this year. Last time I even had them draw my blood because should I be getting sick every month? No. I think so much of why I feel like I can't catch a break is because SO much of my energy has been zapped with these long-lasting, mystery illnesses.
If I could just have a month or 2 of not getting sick, of not feeling like I'm some second rate employee because hey I have another 2 week long illness and need to call out for a day or 2, of not having a loved one die, of not having some major financial blow, maybe I could catch my breath. I just want to feel like I'm sailing again, not drowning.
Friday, April 1, 2016
Saying goodbye
My gramps passed away yesterday. He had a hellish last 6 months of his life-losing his son, my uncle Brian, and going through medical crises over the last several months leading to an amputation surgery and a bout of pneumonia that he succumbed to. Despite that, he had a very peaceful passing. He was surrounded by people he loved, hands linked together in a group prayer as he left this world. I know that he is in a better place now and that his suffering is over.
He had such a great sense of humor. My mom's entire side of her family shares that. On the rare occasion that we were all able to meet up (they lived in FL, some of our family lives in NY, we're in the middle) the house would be full of laughter. He was a great story-teller, and after raising 6 kids there were plenty of stories to tell.
Saturday, March 19, 2016
Restless
I am restless. This isn't a new thing. Restlessness has been a part of me starting in adolescence. This year in particular the feeling has dug deep. It has crawled deep into my bones. I wake up, I go to sleep, I pause throughout the day thinking "Am I doing enough? Am I making the most of this life which increasingly moves by at an alarmingly fast pace? What if it ends tomorrow? Will I wish I did more?"
I am so many things. I am a mom, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, an employee, a crafter, a baker, a reader, a wanderer, a dreamer. I am all of these things, but do I fill these roles with as much passion as I can?
For too long now I have felt that I am just going through the motions in so many areas of my life. I feel like I lost that spark, that passion, that makes me live instead of exist. I want to make a concentrated effort to stop more throughout the day and take time to recharge. Even if it means waking up a bit earlier so I can stop and jot down my thoughts in a journal or read a few pages of a book.
Additionally, I want to take more risks. I want to plan the kind of travels that scare me a bit instead of going back to our tried-and-true places. I want to try new restaurants and listen to live music from bands I've never heard before. I want to set foot in cities I've never been in and drive with no destination in mind.
I'm not disillusioned-I know that the motions, the "real life", the chores will still be there. I know that we can't live life continuously pursuing the things that are exciting and new. I just know that right now, I could be more. Much more.
Sunday, March 6, 2016
What they don't tell you about an autism diagnosis
A hazard of frequently researching information about autism is constantly seeing people who seek reassurance that their kid is not like mine and other children that are on the autism spectrum. One of the communities I frequent has a near-daily post along the lines of, "My 2 month old is not pointing or waving! My pregnancy was induced and I ate a piece of sushi during pregnancy! Please tell me my child is not Autistic! I will be devastated and will NEVER recover if they are!"
Okay, that is a slight exaggeration for the most part, but the "I will be devastated if my kid is like yours" part? That happens, and it happens frequently. It sucks. I need to make one thing perfectly clear. There is nothing devastating about parenting my kid. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
Is it difficult? Well, yes. Isn't parenting difficult at times for everyone? Do I worry? YES. Don't other parents worry? When you take away the logistics of the extra school meetings, the therapies, the extra doctors appointments, and some of the other struggles-when you look at it in its pure, stripped-down form, it's just that-it's parenting. Being a parent to ANY kid regardless of their physical, developmental, or mental struggles, is just that-being a parent. They are our kids, they are amazing, and we are so damn proud of them.
I want so badly to rewire this devastation that people anticipate or expect upon their child, grandchild, nephew, loved one receiving an autism spectrum diagnosis. Let me share with you some of the unanticipated things I have learned over the last 5 months.
You will feel all the feels, but it gets better. I was in a daze after my son received his diagnosis. I remember feeling weak and irritated with myself that I wasn't some super mom who took the news in stride and immediately had him in therapy all while knowing the latest research on autism. Allow yourself to feel sad, confused, shocked, but don't dwell on it. You have things to do! Get moving once you process your emotions. Your family's future probably looks quite a bit different than what you've been envisioning, but that's okay. Before you know it you will know what all the acronyms stand for. You'll have the therapies lined up. You will know your insurance company's call center rep by their first name.
You will find your voice. I am one of the most quiet, socially awkward people you will ever meet. I worried about being able to stand up and advocate for my son. Yeah, no need to worry about that. You will find that voice and advocate. You'll call the therapists out when they cancel 1 too many appointments. You will tell the school that no, this IEP is not a good fit for your child. Best of all? You'll find that you strive for that voice to be constructive. Sometimes it'll border on argumentative, but what you'll want most of all is to change things for the better.
You will celebrate EVERY milestone. When certain things don't come as easily/naturally to your kid as they do to other kids, you will CELEBRATE when they reach new achievements. I cheered so loudly for my son last week when he unzipped his jacket (a first!) that I accidentally scared him. I notice so much more of the milestones and achievements now and celebrate every single one.
You will find ways to make every day things easier on your child. There are certain scenarios where I always assumed "Oh, that's just terrible two's. He's just being a threenager." I later realized that some of the situations where he usually started melting down were related to autism, not toddler behavior. I can tell (for the most part) when he is about to have a meltdown and try redirecting or eliminating the stressor. I prep him for transitions, which reduces so much of his stress. There are just so many little (and big) things you'll learn that will make your child's environment less overwhelming for them.
These are the things I have learned just over the last 5 months. Imagine how much can change in a year's time. If you have a loved one who received an autism diagnosis please know it's not the end of the world. Allow yourself to feel however you feel, but know that in the end your kid is still your kid. Nothing will change that.
Okay, that is a slight exaggeration for the most part, but the "I will be devastated if my kid is like yours" part? That happens, and it happens frequently. It sucks. I need to make one thing perfectly clear. There is nothing devastating about parenting my kid. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
Is it difficult? Well, yes. Isn't parenting difficult at times for everyone? Do I worry? YES. Don't other parents worry? When you take away the logistics of the extra school meetings, the therapies, the extra doctors appointments, and some of the other struggles-when you look at it in its pure, stripped-down form, it's just that-it's parenting. Being a parent to ANY kid regardless of their physical, developmental, or mental struggles, is just that-being a parent. They are our kids, they are amazing, and we are so damn proud of them.
I want so badly to rewire this devastation that people anticipate or expect upon their child, grandchild, nephew, loved one receiving an autism spectrum diagnosis. Let me share with you some of the unanticipated things I have learned over the last 5 months.
You will feel all the feels, but it gets better. I was in a daze after my son received his diagnosis. I remember feeling weak and irritated with myself that I wasn't some super mom who took the news in stride and immediately had him in therapy all while knowing the latest research on autism. Allow yourself to feel sad, confused, shocked, but don't dwell on it. You have things to do! Get moving once you process your emotions. Your family's future probably looks quite a bit different than what you've been envisioning, but that's okay. Before you know it you will know what all the acronyms stand for. You'll have the therapies lined up. You will know your insurance company's call center rep by their first name.
You will find your voice. I am one of the most quiet, socially awkward people you will ever meet. I worried about being able to stand up and advocate for my son. Yeah, no need to worry about that. You will find that voice and advocate. You'll call the therapists out when they cancel 1 too many appointments. You will tell the school that no, this IEP is not a good fit for your child. Best of all? You'll find that you strive for that voice to be constructive. Sometimes it'll border on argumentative, but what you'll want most of all is to change things for the better.
You will celebrate EVERY milestone. When certain things don't come as easily/naturally to your kid as they do to other kids, you will CELEBRATE when they reach new achievements. I cheered so loudly for my son last week when he unzipped his jacket (a first!) that I accidentally scared him. I notice so much more of the milestones and achievements now and celebrate every single one.
You will find ways to make every day things easier on your child. There are certain scenarios where I always assumed "Oh, that's just terrible two's. He's just being a threenager." I later realized that some of the situations where he usually started melting down were related to autism, not toddler behavior. I can tell (for the most part) when he is about to have a meltdown and try redirecting or eliminating the stressor. I prep him for transitions, which reduces so much of his stress. There are just so many little (and big) things you'll learn that will make your child's environment less overwhelming for them.
These are the things I have learned just over the last 5 months. Imagine how much can change in a year's time. If you have a loved one who received an autism diagnosis please know it's not the end of the world. Allow yourself to feel however you feel, but know that in the end your kid is still your kid. Nothing will change that.
Monday, February 15, 2016
School days
The Mickey backpack and the lunch box are being shipped, school handbooks read, forms filled out, and I still find myself unable to wrap my mind around the fact that a school bus will stop in front of the house on Thursday and Cooper will enter the public school system. Although I know this is a positive step in the right direction, I am so scared for him.
My mind goes back to the day we tried dropping him off in the gym's daycare a year or so ago. We got called back 10 minutes later. He sat sobbing at a table while the other kids just stared at him like something was wrong with him. You never want your kid to struggle, to be stared at, to be hurt.
When I look at him I see all of the great things. I see the humor, the wit, his emerging imagination, his hugs, story time cuddles, the pure, unfiltered excitement he displays when he's participating in a preferred activity. I see his sense of accomplishment when he helps me with something, his love for my nephews, and the faces he makes when he's jumping on a trampoline or sliding down a slide.
I see my kid. My 3 year old. I worry that 3 is too young to start school, but then I think of the ways this will help him. He will get to be around kids his own age 4 days a week. He will be led by a teacher that seems to be a great fit. He will be surrounded by some of his favorite things-the alphabet, books, and craft stations. This day showed up a year and a half earlier than we anticipated, but haven't we always done things out of order?
My mind goes back to the day we tried dropping him off in the gym's daycare a year or so ago. We got called back 10 minutes later. He sat sobbing at a table while the other kids just stared at him like something was wrong with him. You never want your kid to struggle, to be stared at, to be hurt.
When I look at him I see all of the great things. I see the humor, the wit, his emerging imagination, his hugs, story time cuddles, the pure, unfiltered excitement he displays when he's participating in a preferred activity. I see his sense of accomplishment when he helps me with something, his love for my nephews, and the faces he makes when he's jumping on a trampoline or sliding down a slide.
I see my kid. My 3 year old. I worry that 3 is too young to start school, but then I think of the ways this will help him. He will get to be around kids his own age 4 days a week. He will be led by a teacher that seems to be a great fit. He will be surrounded by some of his favorite things-the alphabet, books, and craft stations. This day showed up a year and a half earlier than we anticipated, but haven't we always done things out of order?
Wednesday, February 10, 2016
February
No energy for coherent paragraphs. Bullet points will suffice.
*Stomach bug-It's been a long time since I've had a stomach flu and I'm grateful this isn't a reoccurring thing for us. Fever, body aches, chills, extreme wooziness/weakness and a multitude of stomach ailments since Sunday night. At least I was down 6 pounds when I went to the doctor today?
*Speaking of which-got a bunch of bloodwork drawn today because I just haven't felt right the last several (6+) months. I've developed this random stutter when I talk and have worse than normal sleep difficulties. Even when I do get enough or even more than enough sleep, I never feel rested. I'm chalking it up to the medicine I've been on, but better safe?
*My dad's test results-In the interest of not revealing too much (what a concept for me, right?) I will say that things are still up in the air but more optimistic than last week.
*Shared camper!?-My parents and sister gauged my interest (and Greg's too, obviously) about possibly going in thirds for a camper on a permanent lot in the Gloucester area. This is a new-to-me idea, and very much in a daydream stage at this point, but it's fun to think of. We went and looked at a bunch of campers and campgrounds last weekend. I enjoy the no-hassle concept of a permanent site (especially not having to own a truck with towing capabilities) but want to be 100% sold on the campground itself if the camper will be parked there for several years. I will say that taking away the hassle of towing a camper, gas for towing the camper, and splitting repair costs in thirds instead of being solely responsible for them are all appealing ways to approach the camping experience.
*IEP meeting-Cooper's IEP meeting was today. I was really surprised to not have to fight to get him the services he needs. He qualified for FT preschool (M,T,R,F 9-4) including some 1 on 1 time with the SLP and will be picked up by the bus! They are going to wait to see if he needs additional OT services. I'm excited for him that he gets to ride the bus and socialize during the week. We met his teacher and I really like her. Cooper had a meltdown when he was exploring his new classroom. She handled it like a pro (maybe because she is?) and did the best job I have ever seen in terms of redirecting him. His meltdown lasted maybe a minute and a half instead of the ~25 minutes they usually last. He is in a class with 3 other kids with special needs and they also have occasional shared activities with a preschool classroom that has 16 Neurotypical kiddos. Really good impression from the school/teacher/program. Feeling optimistic and ready to move forward! Now we're trying to decide whether to continue ABA in addition to Pre-K. Plenty of big decisions ahead!
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
More Ch-ch-ch-changes
This series of events happened to my family over the last 16 months that made me realize you have no idea what will happen to you and when it will happen. As cliche as it is, it made me realize that we all have this 1 life. Our time here is not infinite. If we live it stumbling along doing a job we hate, we are doing it wrong.
Greg considered quitting his full time gig to pursue writing full time for several months now. I always erred on the side of caution because I am incredibly nervous about health insurance. Well, guess what? If it doesn't work out, we can say he tried. I told him to go for it. Do something he is good at, which has the potential to bring in more income, even if it fluctuates and isn't as "safe."
Now we are in the process of switching gears from him working night shifts 5 days/week to him essentially working from home while shuttling Cooper to therapies and (in the very near future) special ed preschool. My mother in law will watch Cooper for a few hours per day 2 days per week, which will give Greg time to write and allow Cooper to see his favorite person in the world. He will also have opportunities to write while Cooper is at preschool. ABA requires the parent to be more hands-on, so he won't be able to utilize the 10 hours per week of ABA to write. I will watch Cooper certain times during the weeknights so he can write. The chore division, expectations, etc. are something we will have to figure out as we go. Luckily we're in a place in our marriage where we can openly discuss these things instead of being passive aggressive and growing bitter about it like we used to.
So, what else is new? We are currently waiting on test results for some neurological issues my dad is experiencing. All I will say is that it's terrifying he's going through this at 58 years old. If one of the outcomes is what they are currently predicting, I will be at risk of developing the same condition. It is scary, but I am praying for the best and trying to keep my resolution (not panic when shit hits the fan) in mind.
Cooper's first IEP meeting is in a week. I hope they offer him a sufficient amount of services and we can all agree on goals. I always worry that his verbal capabilities will overshadow the struggles he faces, but his evaluation from the school seemed very comprehensive and didn't seem to dismiss the other areas he struggles in even though he is verbal. I am anxious to go to the meeting so we can figure out and rearrange his schedule as necessary.
Speaking of the little booger-he is on my lap trying to pry my hands away from the keyboard so that's my signal to go!
Greg considered quitting his full time gig to pursue writing full time for several months now. I always erred on the side of caution because I am incredibly nervous about health insurance. Well, guess what? If it doesn't work out, we can say he tried. I told him to go for it. Do something he is good at, which has the potential to bring in more income, even if it fluctuates and isn't as "safe."
Now we are in the process of switching gears from him working night shifts 5 days/week to him essentially working from home while shuttling Cooper to therapies and (in the very near future) special ed preschool. My mother in law will watch Cooper for a few hours per day 2 days per week, which will give Greg time to write and allow Cooper to see his favorite person in the world. He will also have opportunities to write while Cooper is at preschool. ABA requires the parent to be more hands-on, so he won't be able to utilize the 10 hours per week of ABA to write. I will watch Cooper certain times during the weeknights so he can write. The chore division, expectations, etc. are something we will have to figure out as we go. Luckily we're in a place in our marriage where we can openly discuss these things instead of being passive aggressive and growing bitter about it like we used to.
So, what else is new? We are currently waiting on test results for some neurological issues my dad is experiencing. All I will say is that it's terrifying he's going through this at 58 years old. If one of the outcomes is what they are currently predicting, I will be at risk of developing the same condition. It is scary, but I am praying for the best and trying to keep my resolution (not panic when shit hits the fan) in mind.
Cooper's first IEP meeting is in a week. I hope they offer him a sufficient amount of services and we can all agree on goals. I always worry that his verbal capabilities will overshadow the struggles he faces, but his evaluation from the school seemed very comprehensive and didn't seem to dismiss the other areas he struggles in even though he is verbal. I am anxious to go to the meeting so we can figure out and rearrange his schedule as necessary.
Speaking of the little booger-he is on my lap trying to pry my hands away from the keyboard so that's my signal to go!
Thursday, January 14, 2016
They see me rollin'
The current scene: I am sitting here in the cruise cabin leaning side to side while this ship just rocks 'n rolls through a pretty strong storm system outside of Cozumel. The curtains in the cabin are swaying back and forth. Greg is feeling pretty seasick and is snoozing by my side.
Today is day 6 of our first grownups-only vacation so I thought it would be fun to jot down some observations:
*Holy shit, we miss our kid so much. This is no shock-whenever he spends 1 night at his grandparents he is missed terribly by us, but still. That is the number 1 thing on my mind.
*I am more mature than I was pre-kid, even when the kid is not with me. For some reason I thought we'd be out at the bars, partaking in drinks, with that carefree feeling that seemed to take up most of our pre-parenting days. Nope. I have been enjoying the beautiful scenery while also thinking about the outcome of today's school eligibility meeting, messaging my mom several times a day for updates on Cooper, checking the bank account and bills, etc. Being responsible and worrying about someone else is just who we are now, and that's a good thing! We enjoyed some time at the piano bar and the pub on the ship, but that was more of a pit stop and not the theme of this trip.
*Exhaustion, we had it. After walking around Miami for a few hours the day we flew in, Greg and I literally spent the rest of the day (starting around 5PM) in bed doing NOTHING productive. We napped on and off, watched a movie, read, and opted to skip dinner because dinner involved climbing out of the bed. We have slept SO much on this trip. I know that most people would view that as wasted time, but it's obviously something we needed. We go to bed at a decent time, sleep until 9 or so, and have taken a nap every single day. I think this has shown me that when we get back I really need to get into a good sleep schedule. Of course that's easier said than done when you have a kid who has tremendous anxiety and rigidity about sleeping.
*It's okay not to "see ALL the things." I usually feel tremendous guilt over not seeing everything I possibly can during a trip, but screw it. Sometimes you need to listen to your body and just slow down for a week.
*Flying is worth the terror. I can't tell you how many times I've driven to Florida. It has to be over a dozen times. Flying down to Miami was...amazing. I was terrified to fly (haven't flown in 6 years) but getting from Richmond to Miami in 2.5 hours instead of 15 hours? Amazing. Amazingamazingamazing. I will be scouring JetBlue for more deals whenever we head back down to Disney.
So, all in all? Amazing trip. I feel so grateful to have experienced it! I absolutely love sitting out on the balcony reading while watching the sunsets over the ocean. That being said, we are so ready to get back to our kid.
Today is day 6 of our first grownups-only vacation so I thought it would be fun to jot down some observations:
*Holy shit, we miss our kid so much. This is no shock-whenever he spends 1 night at his grandparents he is missed terribly by us, but still. That is the number 1 thing on my mind.
*I am more mature than I was pre-kid, even when the kid is not with me. For some reason I thought we'd be out at the bars, partaking in drinks, with that carefree feeling that seemed to take up most of our pre-parenting days. Nope. I have been enjoying the beautiful scenery while also thinking about the outcome of today's school eligibility meeting, messaging my mom several times a day for updates on Cooper, checking the bank account and bills, etc. Being responsible and worrying about someone else is just who we are now, and that's a good thing! We enjoyed some time at the piano bar and the pub on the ship, but that was more of a pit stop and not the theme of this trip.
*Exhaustion, we had it. After walking around Miami for a few hours the day we flew in, Greg and I literally spent the rest of the day (starting around 5PM) in bed doing NOTHING productive. We napped on and off, watched a movie, read, and opted to skip dinner because dinner involved climbing out of the bed. We have slept SO much on this trip. I know that most people would view that as wasted time, but it's obviously something we needed. We go to bed at a decent time, sleep until 9 or so, and have taken a nap every single day. I think this has shown me that when we get back I really need to get into a good sleep schedule. Of course that's easier said than done when you have a kid who has tremendous anxiety and rigidity about sleeping.
*It's okay not to "see ALL the things." I usually feel tremendous guilt over not seeing everything I possibly can during a trip, but screw it. Sometimes you need to listen to your body and just slow down for a week.
*Flying is worth the terror. I can't tell you how many times I've driven to Florida. It has to be over a dozen times. Flying down to Miami was...amazing. I was terrified to fly (haven't flown in 6 years) but getting from Richmond to Miami in 2.5 hours instead of 15 hours? Amazing. Amazingamazingamazing. I will be scouring JetBlue for more deals whenever we head back down to Disney.
So, all in all? Amazing trip. I feel so grateful to have experienced it! I absolutely love sitting out on the balcony reading while watching the sunsets over the ocean. That being said, we are so ready to get back to our kid.
Saturday, January 2, 2016
Hello!
Hello, 2016! I am so glad to see you. I know that the crossing of a calendar year doesn't automatically stop a string of bad luck, but the feeling of a clean slate is welcome nonetheless. In 2016, I hope to:
*Become involved in the local autism community.
*Incorporate ABA techniques at home and learn more about what triggers Coop's meltdowns.
*Continue paying off debt and becoming credit card debt free by late spring or summer of 2016
*Start researching different career goals. I am 30 and still don't know what I want to do "when I grow up."
*Consistently use my planner to stay more organized and set goals.
*Begin therapy for my anxiety. If it doesn't work (again) I can at least say I tried!
*Travel new places (even if they're not terribly far away) as much as time/money allow.
*Learn not to panic as much when shit hits the fan.
It's an ambitious list. Will I accomplish half, all of it? Maybe. As long as I keep that last one in mind, I think everything will be okay. Happy New Year!
*Become involved in the local autism community.
*Incorporate ABA techniques at home and learn more about what triggers Coop's meltdowns.
*Continue paying off debt and becoming credit card debt free by late spring or summer of 2016
*Start researching different career goals. I am 30 and still don't know what I want to do "when I grow up."
*Consistently use my planner to stay more organized and set goals.
*Begin therapy for my anxiety. If it doesn't work (again) I can at least say I tried!
*Travel new places (even if they're not terribly far away) as much as time/money allow.
*Learn not to panic as much when shit hits the fan.
It's an ambitious list. Will I accomplish half, all of it? Maybe. As long as I keep that last one in mind, I think everything will be okay. Happy New Year!
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